Story No 491: Dr. Lealah from California

Earlier this week, I got a call from a patient, who I’ll call Ann, telling me that she’s pregnant and asking me to call her back. I couldn’t tell yet how she felt about this news. She already has twin school-aged sons. She struggles with alcohol use and depression, and she has shared that she fights with her husband.

When I called her back, Ann said to me: “Doctor, I need some support.”

She told me that she was being berated by both her family and her husband’s family for getting pregnant. They were saying things like, “How are you going to take care of another child?” She said that one of her relatives mentioned abortion, saying, “You know, you have a choice here.” Ann was getting audibly upset. She told me, “You know doctor, I’m pro-choice. And I made a choice. I’m choosing to have a baby.” She’s right. Having a choice means being able to choose to be a mother, even if other people don’t think it’s the “right” choice. When Ann had her twins a few years ago, she was homeless, heavily using drugs, and engaged in sex work. Thanks to an incredible support system, both inside and outside of the health care system, Ann beat the odds. She’s housed and parenting her boys.

Many women in her situation don’t get the choice to parent. Child protective services gets involved, and their children are placed in foster care and often don’t get reunited with their birth mother. There are other factors that can take away a woman’s ability to choose to become or not become a mother—infertility, restrictive laws that force women to continue unwanted pregnancies, lack of access to birth control. But this time, Ann has a choice, and she has the right to be a mother in a safe and supportive environment.

I salute all women. Those who have chosen to become mothers, those who have chosen not to become mothers, and those who haven’t had a choice in the matter. And I salute you, Ann. Thank you for letting me be part of your journey.