It wasn’t until college that I realized how comprehensive my sex education had been growing up.

It wasn’t until college that I realized how comprehensive my sex education had been growing up.

Having come from a Pennsylvania public school, it surprised me how the sex-ed experience of my peers had been so different from my own. Despite the apparently progressive nature of this sex education, I did not have sex in high school. Many of my friends were not having sex.

Learning about safe sex, birth control, and consent did not lead us to a promiscuous lifestyle. I was glad I knew about safe sex but didn’t think much more of my sex-ed until later in life. After college, I was sexually assaulted by a man older than myself. Immediately afterward, as I tried to process the event with this man (which, retrospectively, was not a good idea), part of what I realized is that our views on sex were wildly different. He had grown up without sex-ed. According to him, sex was mutual. What he really meant is that sex should happen on his terms. After, we had it on “my terms” (i.e. with protection). My fear is that if I had experienced abstinence-only education, I would have believed him. My fear is that other people will be in the same situation, and that they will believe the person who has assaulted them. I was so glad that I didn’t believe that man.

Consent is not always obvious. Situations between well-intentioned participants can be tricky. But it seems to me that comprehensive sex education is the best way to prepare young people for the challenges and joys that lie ahead.