Last week, I took care of a patient, whom I will call Carrie, on the first day of her abortion. I received an email from a maternal and fetal medicine (MFM) colleague who had done an ultrasound on Carrie. Carrie was pregnant for the first time and very excited to be a mother. She had just received her second trimester ultrasound from the MFM department.

Unfortunately, the ultrasound showed that the fetus had a severe anomaly. Based on the information from the ultrasound, the fetus, if it survived, would likely be significantly impaired, both physically and mentally. This information weighed heavily on Carrie and her husband and caused significant conflict between them.

When she came to our clinic, she told us that her husband wanted her to continue the pregnancy, that “a life is a life.” She knew that she didn’t have the emotional or physical capacity to deliver and care for a child that would have such significant needs and a tenuous future. As a result, she was accompanied by her sister, and not her husband, at this appointment.

Carrie’s strength in such a difficult situation is striking. It reminds me of all of the complexities that surround a woman’s reproductive decisions, but that in the end, she is the best person to make those decisions: not a partner, a doctor, or a legislator. It reminded me, simply, to trust women.