I had an abortion in October 2016. I have chronic pain; this pain predated my first pregnancy, but it did not prevent me from carrying that pregnancy to term. Becoming a parent did cause my pain levels to rise sharply and my overall health to decline. All of this was thrown into sharp relief when I became pregnant a second time, and it quickly became clear that it would be very difficult to have a healthy pregnancy. My husband and I consulted with a high-risk pregnancy specialist and a pain specialist, and they both concluded that the best option would be for me to take a low and continuous dose of OxyContin for the duration of my pregnancy. While this wasn’t ideal, it was the only realistic option, given the particulars of my condition and what had been tried in the past.

I trusted both doctors, and I remain thankful for their kindness, compassion, and honest advice. But I wasn’t comfortable with taking an addictive drug for that long; for me, the risks to myself and a developing fetus were too great. But not being able to adequately manage my pain months on end wasn’t an option, not if I wanted to be a true and active participant in my young child’s life.

The choice to terminate was the most difficult decision I’ve ever made, but it was also the right decision. I did what was best for myself, my health, my child, and my family, and I do not regret it.