Happy National Day of Appreciation for Abortion Providers! We are grateful for all providers who treat their patients with compassion and dignity. Without them, we wouldn’t be Physicians for Reproductive Health. 

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Katie* came into my clinic with her husband Kirk*. They were a beautiful couple–you could tell there was so much love between them. When I walked into the room and introduced myself as her Ob-Gyn specialist, Katie started to tear up, and immediately apologized for doing so. I comforted her and said there was no reason to apologize.

She and Kirk had recently been told by their high-risk Obstetrician that the baby had a lethal anomaly, hypoplastic heart syndrome (the left side of the heart doesn’t develop properly), and would most certainly not live past birth. They were devastated. They had a son, and wanted to give him a sibling. The thought of prolonging the baby’s time in her womb, only to have him die was too much for Katie. She said she would never choose to do this if it wasn’t for the heart anomaly that would almost surely be lethal. She did not want the baby to suffer any more than it already had.

We discussed her options–she knew that she could undergo labor, she knew that she could have an abortion procedure, and she knew that she could just wait to see what would happen. She chose to have a procedure. She wanted to have it done as quickly as possible, as to not have the baby endure anymore, and so that she could be at peace knowing that the baby’s suffering was over.

The procedure was uncomplicated, and we collected footprints, said a blessing and the message she and Kirk wanted to say to the baby, and wheeled her into the recovery room. I checked in on her as she was getting ready to be discharged. She was tearful, but relieved. We talked about her emotions–sadness and grief, relief, guilt. She clasped my hand with one of hers as tears flowed around the wadded up kleenex she held to her eyes and said:

“Thank you, doctor. This was so hard for me and my husband. This was so so hard. But it must be so much harder for you.”

This was the first time any patient had acknowledged that as abortion providers, as women’s health care providers, that we must have feelings about the work we do too. It caught me so off-guard that I stood next to her bed and cried with her. These are the moments that make us grateful to provide for women–these are the moments we continue to fight for reproductive rights. 

*Name changed for privacy