I am a white, upper-middle class OB/GYN living in Seattle, Washington, and I’m aware of my privilege. I specialize in Family Planning, and was lucky enough to conceive the first time I had (intentional) unprotected sex.

My husband and I wanted a second child and started planning for that when our daughter was two years old. This time, however, things did not go according to plan. Five years, multiple tests, and several rounds of assisted reproduction later, we decided that enough was enough.

I was 42 years old with an ever-busier career and could no longer get excited about the idea of pregnancy and a newborn.

Many counseled me to just “stop trying,” as I was clearly infertile. However, not only has experience taught me that infertility is a terrible contraceptive, but I also needed definitive closure.

Now knowing far too much about my own reproductive system, I knew I had a retroflexed uterus and didn’t want to subject anyone at my institution to the task of what could be a difficult IUD insertion.

I went to see a mentor, friend, and colleague of 20 years, who I knew had the experience to face the challenge, and also the self-confidence to handle a complication.

Five crampy minutes later, it was done. After five years of overthinking every twinge and period and episode of breast tenderness, it was all behind me.

We are now a very settled family unit of three. This feels like the family I am supposed to have. I am so grateful that I was able to have control over these decisions, knowing not everyone has this bodily autonomy. I am aware of how my privilege afforded me these opportunities that many others are denied.