On December 12, 2015, I had an abortion to end a very wanted pregnancy. I was 17 weeks and 5 days pregnant; I had finally felt fetal movement a few days before. In the blur of a 10-day span we found out we had an elevated risk for Trisomy 18 from a routine blood test and had an appointment with a maternal fetal specialist that included a level two ultrasound and amniocentesis which confirmed our worst fear. My baby was incompatible with life.

My baby was incompatible with life.

I spent hours researching Trisomy 18, every article more depleting than the last. I knew my baby would experience a life of pain and suffering if she made it to term and through birth. We always wanted a daughter and decided to name her Lily. The doctor had shown us the multiple markers of Trisomy 18 that Lily had. Her heart was deformed and would never pump blood through her body, her kidneys would never function, there were multiple cysts on her brain. These were just the major markers, she also had club feet and her little hands were in permanent fists.

I am more fortunate than many that my health insurance did cover the termination, but my doctor was not willing to perform the procedure in a hospital near my home.

I am more fortunate than many that my health insurance did cover the termination, but my doctor was not willing to perform the procedure in a hospital near my home. I had to travel an hour away to a Planned Parenthood, pass protesters on the way to the clinic entrance, and go through the prep and procedure completely alone, without my husband or anyone for support. I then had to pass those same protesters after the procedure. It was easily the worst day my husband and I have experienced in our lives. While I’m fortunate to be able to have abortion access in my home state, I know many are not. I am white and upper middle class, I had the means to travel if I had needed to, but women with fewer advantages than myself would have an undue burden to seek the health care they require. And abortion is a women’s health issue. My own experience was marred by a physician who said she supported our decision and would make the same choice, but her actions told a different story. I have always supported a woman’s right to choose and, by extension, the Planned Parenthood organization. I never expected to need an abortion as a married 31 year old woman who wanted to start a family, but that’s what makes it so imperative that all women have abortion access. Because if it was this trying for me, I can’t imagine what someone at a disadvantage would do.